With the men’s soccer home opener just around the corner, it seems like an appropriate time for the inaugural Scarlet and Gray Radio’s I-Don’t-Think-That-Dude-Has-An-Adequate-Knowledge-of-Soccer-to-Be-Broadcasting-The-Games column, by yours truly. Now, im not as ignorant about the beautiful game of soccer as, say, Mitch Hedberg was ignorant about the dangers of heroine, but I am also no Alexi Lalas. I am not blessed with the luscious red hair that graces the head of, apparently, the only marketable U.S national Soccer player in recent decades. But I do have a soul. So if you’re looking for a soulful report about the Buckeye soccer squad and like to hang out in the sun, then this column is for you.
-“In Bluem”:
The Buckeyes return eight starters this year but they will lose three players that coach John Bluem considered to be, “the teams three best players”. Konrad Warzycha, Sam Scales and Matt Gold were all drafter to the MLS after the 2010 season and Warzycha and Gold we’re lucky enough to earn contracts with Sporting Kansas City and Toronto FC respectively. The team is also suffering from the loss of Ryan Lee, who transferred to UCLA after last season, as well as the injuries of Joshua Breto and Dalton Summers. Altogether, the 6 players were responsible for 30 of the teams 62 points. Which is slightly worrisome, but not terrifying. Kenny Cunningham was solid in the preseason and tallied the Buckeyes only goal at the Penn State Classic this past weekend. With Cunningham being a legitimate goal threat we’ll (hopefully) see Omar Vallejo improve on his 5 points off of three assists and one goal from his freshman season. Vallejo was also tied for third on the team in with 12 shots on goal in 2010.
That brings us to the part where if you gave me a choice between, watching a marathon of Tyler Perry’s “Meet the Browns”, hanging out with Ray Small for more than 10 minutes with out asking him why he can not field punts, making a wild assessment about which EPL team this year’s squad does or does not resemble, or, using a lousy literary device to talk about something that I thought about when I was doing something sometime; I would pick the last two.
Good News, Bad News:
Some of you soccer fans out there may have seen 8-2 drubbing that Manchester United put on Arsenal recently. This, I opine, is because Arsenal lacks the leadership that Manchester seems to be brimming with. Both teams have dedicated much of their resources to putting youth on the field but only Manchester United has managed to do it as well as pepper the pitch with strong leadership to mitigate club issues and control the mood of the team this season. Van Persie and Walcott do not seem to provide the confidence that this Arsenal team desperately needs.
Looking over the roster, this 2011 Ohio state team looks to be smack in the middle of the Man U/Arsenal dichotomy. Youths like Kenny Cunningham and Omar Vallejo can be the cocaine at Charlie Sheen’s party and really spice things up but you’ll also need to have the savvy with which Keith Richards doused, with blow, his mucous membranes lining his sinuses; or else things get ugly. This is where players like Austin McAnena, Chris Hegngi, David Tiemstra and Jordan Lomnicki come into play. Lomnicki and Tiemstra (who has, Phonetically, the word ‘team’ right there is his name) are the captains of the 2011 squad and will also be anchors on the back line and in the mid-field respectively. Chris Hegngi and Austin McAnena are the two highest scoring returning starters and will also be crucial to the ignition the offense. Hegngi had trouble finding the frame against Siena this past week with 8 shots and none on goal. But it’s early. “The fitness levels of the guys isn’t great,” coach Bluem told me, this gives me hope that the Buckeye’s 7 of 51 shots that were on net is simply the team knocking off the rust. The most optimistic part of the Hegngi hinder is that there are two of them. Chris’ brother Parnell can also be relied upon in the mid-field and, I mean, isn’t the brother combination on your team always awesome? Especially when they play two different positions in a sport like soccer? Shouldn’t they have had years of time to perfect their chemistry and maybe even form a little sibling competition? I hope so.
Where’s Your Head at?
The Buckeyes 2010 squad had some issues with corner kicks. That’s me being kind. The team converted on only 1 corner kick last year out of 94 attempts. Now, before I make them sound incompetent on set pieces, which is not what I want to do, I should point out that statistics in soccer are worth about as much as a verbal alliance is on the Bachelor Pad and can be equated to reading the spark notes on Catcher in the Rye. You get the bare essentials of the story, you understand that Holden Caulfield hates phonies, but you don’t see it. Soccer is not baseball; a sport that is better understood when you are aware of and proficient in a litany of complicated stats and ratings. You need to feel out soccer, and, though the 1 for 94 on corners statistic is, too me, troublesome, it surely does not take into account goals that were created off of rebounds and chances inside the box after those set pieces. But still, set pieces are a problem for the buckeyes and Coach Bluem agrees, “We’re not dangerous enough now on corners. We trained on corner kicks a lot today for, and against because we have to defend better against corners as well. Our services are starting to get there and be hit to where we want to but we’re not attacking the ball well enough.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.
A Quick Look Back at the Penn State Classic:
The Nuts were not exactly roasting this past weekend when they kicked off their season in State College, PA. In their first two games the buckeyes faced American University and Siena respectively and walked off the pitch that weekend after tallying merely one goal in 200 minutes of play. A late game equalizer against American that was netted by freshman Kenny Cunningham was the lone goal of the weekend for the Buckeyes. Cunningham’s goal sent the game into two overtimes in which both teams failed to find the back of the net, ending the game in a draw. In game 2, the buckeyes found themselves trailing late once again, however, this time there was no equalizer. Over the weekend the team dominated the stat sheets with 51 shots to their opponents combined total of 14. However, only 7 of the 51 shots we’re on frame and a couple defensive breakdowns left veteran net-minder Matt Lampson to take the fall. Lampson faced 5 shots on goal but only managed to save 3. Poor fitness and a lack of concrete team chemistry resulted in an 0-1-1 start for the buckeyes but don’t expect that to last. Eric Brunner, who was the captain of the 2007 runner-up national champions, told me that coach Bluem has a knack for getting guys comfortable and confident in their roles. So my hope is that the team will mesh as the season continues. But who knows, maybe it was just that smelly Penn State campus. I could believe that as well.
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